"Holding On" By Kim Isbell How could I let you go? You, who burrowed so effortlessly Into the center of my soul? You, who made this family whole? I try so hard to hold on. You walked out the door And out of our lives And everything fell apart. The walking wounded became the walking dead, Shreading each other's hearts. Why couldn't we hold on? We clung just tightly enough To make sure we all sank Floundering in the quicksand, Reaching for that ghostly right hand. Those long gentle fingers That used to soothe away the pain, Back before that was all that was left to see, Back when I could still believe The future was somewhere I'd want to be. I'm pretending to hold on, Clamped in a death grip to the wreckage of my life, Drowning in my own shame Wounding mother, killing wife, Destroying what she most loves. They had to let go And watch me go under. Once...twice... The third time was not the charm. They couldn't stop me from slitting my own throat They were left to salvage the anchorless boat. Why won't you put in a good word for me And bring me home? Am I in Time Out until the lesson's learned? Am I in hell until all the trash has burned And something fireproof is revealed beneath? Okay then. I'll hold on. I'll study hard. I'll take the tests and bleed check marks. Deciphering directions in this soul-deep dark. I'll learn. I'll do better. I'll try to make you proud. And at my worst I'll feel your wings Wrapped around me and I'll hear you say, "It's okay. No matter what comes in the night, "I will hold you tight. "When you can't hold on anymore, I will do it for you." You won't let go. No matter how deep the darkness, No matter that the night is too long. Your hand is always there Unbroken and strong. Holding on. Mom2 10-16-03

By Kristiana Isbell

This is an illustrated poem of Krista's. We believe she wrote this to God.There is also a poem written by Kim after she found this little treasure.