samantha

Samantha Vaughan
Mrs. Somers
29 September 2003
Creative Writing Block 1

The Moment That Will Last Forever

"Samantha, you need to sit down before I tell you this," Lauren tried to mutter in a controlled voice.

"Why, what's up? Did you get in a fight with your parents? Do you want to come over?" I asked with
an impatient sigh. Lauren was always calling things "very important" when they really weren't.

"Just sit down!" Lauren yelled in a quivering voice.

Noticing her distress, I obeyed and waited for her to continue. It was in that very moment that my
whole life changed. It would never again be the same.

"I don't believe you! It's not true! Are you sure you heard right?" I yelled as tears streamed down my
face.

* * *

Kristiana and Stephi were close friends of mine and I could not comprehend the fact that in the span
of five minutes I had lost both of them.

Stephi was a sophomore my freshman year, but despite the one-year age difference we had
immediately hit it off and become good friends. I met Stephi the summer before school started, at
color guard tryouts. It was her first year in color guard, as well as mine, and if anything we related in
our struggle for perfection on the team.

As the year went on, Stephi was forced, because of bad grades, to quit the team. All through the end
of my freshman year, as well as the first half of my sophomore year, I constantly pressured Stephi to
rejoin the team. Stephi did finally rejoin, a term after I had quit.

Kristiana was in my "homeroom" classes. She was so joyful; she lightened my day every time I saw
her. She always found a way to make a person laugh even when they felt like crying. My sophomore
year I convinced Kristiana to try out and join color guard. The half of a year that we spent in color
guard together was probably my best time I ever had in high school.

But after talking her into joining the team, I quit just as the winter season started. Kristiana wanted to
continue and thanked me almost every day for leading her into such a great program.

Kristiana had always been interested in my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,
and only a month before the tragedy she had been baptized and confirmed a member. Kristiana was
so strong in her faith. I often looked to her for support.

They were on their way to a color guard practice, I believe, when they decided to take a back road at
a fast speed, I can only assume, because they were late. On winding, hilly roads, going at ridiculous
speeds, Stephi, who was driving, lost control of the car and crashed, killing both of them and injuring
another passenger in the car.

* * *

I ran to the arms of my mother with tears blinding my way. She was shocked and confused at my
outburst of emotion and only asked what was wrong when I ran into her embrace.

As I stumbled to pass the news along to her she too began to cry. She rocked me in her arms like a
mother soothing a child who had woke from a nightmare. Every part of my body was hurting and
confused. It was just so unbelievable. It just wasn't possible. I constantly asked her why and the only
response she could give was "I don't know."

It wasn't good enough. I wanted more! I needed a reason. I had to know why!

I found no comfort in anything and soon decided that I just needed to be alone. My emotions had
finally settled and I had stopped crying. AS I walked into my room I first shut my door slowly and
flicked on the light with the last of my strength.

My eyes immediately hit the phone that sat softly on my bed, where I had thrown it in a rage to find
an answer. It all flooded back to me: the conversation, the knowledge, the pain, and I huddled in a
corner near my door, crying uncontrollably. Somehow I made my way into my bed after an hour or so
and just laid there wondering if it had all really happened.

"It's just a dream. It's not real. I will see them tomorrow. I will run up and give them both a big hug
and tell them how much I care about them," I whispered to myself. After completing the process of
brainwashing myself into believing it, I slipped into a restless sleep.

The next day I woke with a face the size of a watermelon but I didn't care. The pain in my heart
outweighed any other pain in my body. I didn't know it was ever possible to hurt that much. I forced
myself out of bed. I could not stay there all day--I needed to be around other people. So I forced
myself
up and out of bed and on to school.

* * *

I wanted to cry all over again. It had been at least a week and it was like my friends had forgotten it
even happened. We just went about our day like we always did, pretending nothing was wrong. But
then I would see her and my wall of strength would break.

"It was just a girl in the same shirt as Kristiana," I thought to myself. "I have to stop doing this."

At least once a day I would see Kristiana; well, I would think I saw her. Twice I ran up to someone
and began to talk to that person like they were her, only to be rudely awakened to the realization that
Kristiana was gone. I didn't know how many more times I could take doing this to myself. I would
dream about her at night. Every time, it was like nothing was wrong and we would just chat like
friends. Then I would awaken to realize it was just a dream.

I don't know how long I continued to see Kristiana at school. But as time went by, I slowly
hallucinated less and less. I gained control of my life again. It was not like I just went through the
motions--I began to live again.

There are still nights that I will sit and think about Kristiana and Stephi just before I retire to bed. I
always end with tear-stained pillows and a hole in my heart. I don't know if I will ever forget the pain
and only remember the good memories I shared with them. I just live each day, breathe each breath,
and carry a scar on my heart.