kristiana.org

Susan Hughes (Cousin)
I met Kristiana and Sarah for the first time 2 years ago at our grandfather's
funeral. Kristiana and Sarah stole my heart. Krista was such a vibrant
person. I could see nothing but absolute beauty and warmth. I saw her for a
second time this summer. All I can remember thinking is what an awesome
person. She reached out to those she felt needed her special touch and I
think we all did. She was a blessing to anyone she came in contact with. For the
two very short years I knew her felt that I knew her my entire lifetime.

The love I have for her is great. She was my family and she was my friend.
She is an angel. I know that Kristiana is happy today. I know if she could
tell us something today she would say, "guys don't worry about me. I am so
happy now. I love you guys with all my heart and I am safe. I know that she
would want to reassure us that she is with God. She was always the caretaker
and will still be our caretaker because Kristiana is now our angel and she
will always be here for us in mind and spirit.

Kristiana, I love you and I am sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeff Isbell--Father
I'd like to begin by reading you something that Krista wrote to her stepbrother, Chris, in the front of a Book of
Mormon that she gave him recently:

Dear Chris,

I just want to say thank you for what you wrote in the journal. That really meant
something to me, thank you so much. One other thing, I wanted to give you
this book because I wanted to share something special with you; our savior's
love for us. I know that you might not be interested in the Mormon religion, I just
wanted to share something I love with someone I love. Remember, pray always
and Jesus loves you!

Love always,
Kristiana

P.S. Please read the highlighted scripture I've bookmarked for you, it's my fave!

[The scripture is 3 Nephi 11:11
"And behold, I am the light and the life of the world; and I have drunk out of that bitter cup which the Father hath
given me, and have glorified the Father in taking upon me the sins of the world, in the which I have suffered the
will of the Father in all things from the beginning."]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristiana was born at 7:30 p.m. on July 3rd, 1986, in Santa Ana, California. It was a wonderful, warm summer
evening. I remember that so well, because in the midst of being a strong, proud papa to all the family that was
there, I slipped outside and had a good cry. I had met my angel, and I was overcome.

I wanted to name her Krista, and her mother, Marina, thought the name Kristiana was beautiful and felt that
should be her given name. It was a great decision, because as Krista blossomed spiritually and intellectually,
she became a butterfly. She became Kristiana.

From the time she was born, Kristiana was obviously the mellow one. As a baby, she would lie in her crib and
stare at her toys and just smile. When you would appear at her side, she would immediately turn to look at you
and give you a beaming, eye-gleaming smile. It was the genuine Kristiana-a big ball of love that we would all
grow to know as the years passed.

On the other hand, Krista's older brother, Jeremy, was the Tasmanian Devil before Taz became popular. The boy
was everywhere and into everything, and at all times. He went until he fell asleep in the midst of his latest
adventure, which quite often meant he ended up somewhere in the middle of the living room carpet.

Jeremy was two years older than Krista, and quite often when he finally ran out of that high-octane jet fuel, Krista
would crawl over and curl up with him. That's where she chose to spend her life, in whoever's lap that would have
her.

When sister Sarah was born eleven months later (she was a preemie, okay?) Krista had her soul mate. It was
rough in the beginning though. Krista was a giver, and quite often when Sarah finished guzzling down her own
bottle, she would choose to finish Krista's. Krista didn't seem particularly upset with this, but then again, she
didn't seem particularly upset by much of anything. Marina or I would just find two empty bottles next to Sarah,
and Krista would just be sitting there with a big, silly grin.

As Krista got older, I anxiously awaited a personality transformation that would signify the Terrible Two's. Well, I
waited in vain. What I got instead was a little, soft, curly-haired baby with long, delicate fingers, who would crawl
into my lap and endlessly explore my face and hair. Her little body would melt into me, and the next thought I
would have was when someone shook me awake.

When she was in my lap, she would study me. She seemed intrigued by the crease in my forehead and would
run her fingers across it, examining the texture of my skin. She would rub my cheek and let her fingers slide
down to my jaw line where the razor stubble would be rough, and she would look at me and smile as if she'd
made some huge discovery.

Anytime she caught my eye for just a second, she completely enveloped me. At two years old, she was in
strong possession of pure love, and she wielded it with the grace and power of an angel. There are no words to
describe the freedom *TO* love that she gave me.

I have always begun work in the wee hours of the morning. So at night I was usually off to bed at eight or so. All
my life I had had a tough time falling asleep. But nineteen years ago today, on October 12th, 1983, I made a
magical discovery. My son Jeremy was one day old, and I snuggled next to him on the bed and fell asleep within
seconds. Babies and puppies, I have discovered, are as effective as sleeping gas on me.

Nearly every night after she was born, Krista would be my sleeping pill. That was what we called it. I can't really
even tell you what she did, because I was never conscious long enough to figure it out. She would snuggle up
next to me and I would be off. I could never figure out how she got away after I fell asleep though.

One night when she was about six or seven years old, I woke up, and in the dark Krista was slipping away. She
was crawling backwards on her belly across my bed. I gave a SNORING SNORT and she froze. Then she began
that slow, tedious scooting toward the edge of the bed and I snorted again. I did this over and over, and it was
hilarious. It must have taken her five minutes to finally make it to the door. I again learned something that night
about the way she thought of others before herself.

She wasn't my only sleeping pill. Jeremy had to give it a try on occasion. After thrashing around in the bed for
thirty minutes and asking me a hundred questions, he would say, "Are you asleep yet, Daddy?" Sarah's
attempts were occasionally more successful. She would rub my head three or four times, start humming, and
then try to make her escape.

But don't fret, you two. I got my time with you at three in the morning. I often climbed into bed with you for a few
seconds before I left for work.

I lost a friend to murder in Anaheim in 1995. It was then that I decided I did not want to raise my children in Los
Angeles any more. I was given to opportunity to transfer up to the Sacramento/Auburn area, and I took it. I left
my family behind for six months so the kids could finish school. I used that time to talk to co-workers about
where I should move my family. As I talked to people, the Loomis/Granite Bay area kept coming up. I spent a lot
of time driving the roads around here trying to get a feel for the area. It seemed that everything kept bringing me
back to Loomis.

Then someone put a bug in my ear about Del Oro High School. I did a little research and was sold on this place.
So I rented a big country house on three acres off Horseshoe Bar. I talked to people in town, and I was
completely amazed at how giving and genuine people seemed. I saw the same thing that my family members
have seen and remarked about in the past few days. Loomis is not just a town; it's a genuine community.

So how did this fairy tale move go over? Like an egg. Krista was pissed. "Where are the neighbors, Dad?"
"Where are the other kids??" It wasn't long, though, before she slowed down enough to recognize the beauty of
her new home. We brought home a couple of kittens for her birthday, and she was set. Krista was officially a cat
rancher.

One of my favorite memories is of watching Krista ride her new bike down the road on Christmas Day in 1996.
She must have startled a deer that was sleeping near the road. The deer leaped up and ran along side of her
nearly all the way to the house. It was a beautiful thing to watch. The look on Krista's face was priceless.

The kids went to Placer Elementary School, and Krista had a tough time there. She went from a thin little wisp
to gaining weight, and she didn't have the confidence to fit in. It was heartbreaking to see. The love that was
inside her, which she wanted so desperately to share, just wasn't connecting. But eventually she found her
friends, who shared her qualities, and to me they seemed like a fraternity of angels. She and Sarah joined the
Placer Miners cheerleaders and had a wonderful time with the other girls and her coaches, Robin and Trisha.

When Krista started high school, she blossomed again. She had new adults and friends in her life and she found
her first boyfriend. She had also evolved into my nemesis in wit and facial expressions. I wanted to be infuriated
that a fourteen year-old girl could absolutely destroy me in a cut-down contest and best me in making faces and
doing imitations. She could laugh so deeply and fully that it washed anything negative away.

But I had a hole card. I had THE GORILLA. And anytime, anywhere, that she crossed the humor line with me, I
brought out my gorilla imitation for public humiliation. Ask a group of shocked patrons outside Noah's Bagels on
Douglas Boulevard. I gave her the MUNKEE there, and she turned a very lovely shade of crimson.

Then there was the time we were leaving Fry's in Sacramento, and she spotted a group of pretty boys. "Oh, Dad,
those guys are so HOT!" she said breathlessly. That was a mistake, and she knew it the minute she saw the
look in my eyes. "No, Dad! Please? Huh-uh!" she began babbling, not even sure what I had in mind, but certain it
wouldn't be pleasant. I just smiled and rolled down my window. As I slowly drove by the guys, I looked at her and
said, loudly enough for them to hear, "Because I love you, that's why!!" Krista sank down in her seat and did not
speak to me all the way home. That was the quietest ride we ever shared. But I got told on as soon as we got
home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kim Isbell--Mom Squared
Starting to high school marked a major turning point in Kristiana's life. Suddenly there were new people in her
life, several of whom quickly became her good friends. Her Wings Program "big sister" was right there to help
with the transition and see that her freshman flock got acquainted with one another and were made to feel
welcome. What a wonderful program Wings is and how grateful we were for it!

Krista watched all the hustle and bustle of high school life with amazement and eagerly jumped into the middle
of it. She got to go to high school dances and help with the freshmen homecoming activities. She started looking
forward to the day she would be one of the admired and feared Upper Classmen. She was on the swim team,
and one of the proudest days of her life was when she won a first place medal in one of her events.

Her sophomore year, Kristiana came to us and told us she wanted to join the color guard. She thought that the
flags and sabers and rifle work and the beautiful routines that these girls performed were awesome, and she
wanted to be part of that beauty. We were thrilled that she had found something to be passionate
about--something that made her eyes light up every time she talked about it.

So she tried out and made it and once again changed into an even more beautiful butterfly. She went to summer
band camp, and when Sarah and I drove up on Parent's Night to watch the program, I could not believe what she
had learned and how she had changed in one week. She stood tall, with her head held proudly, chin up. She
performed a skit with her squad that had the audience laughing out loud. She introduced me to the members of
her "new family."

Krista had been trying to talk Sarah into joining the color guard too. When Sarah saw the great things that were
going on, she was so impressed that she asked if she could join too, and the staff graciously allowed that. The
dynamic duo was together again.

When they performed at games, Jeff and I tried to watch all the girls and the band, but our eyes kept going back
to our babies. We didn't want to miss a single toss or twirl...or even a drop. Homecoming was awesome. We
had so much fun shopping for the homecoming dance. All I had to do was sit back and watch the girls help each
other find the perfect dresses and then come and show me how well they had done---oh, and of course, write the
check. But even that was fun, because as my friends know, I am the Queen of Bargain Shopping, and the girls
graduated from my shopping academy with honors. We always laughed about going home and explaining to Dad
that we had saved $50 by spending $100.

Last year, Sarah and Kristiana started getting themselves up to go to 5:30 early morning seminary with some of
their friends who were members of the Mormon church. That amazed me, because these girls were champion
sleepers. But I was glad that they had found a church group who welcomed them with open arms and hearts.
They studied and learned, and they both decided that they wanted to be baptized. It was an awesome
experience to witness that. Krista was more serious about her religion than about anything else in her life. This
week I have been looking through her Bible and other books, and smiling at all the underlined passages and
notes she wrote to herself about the lessons and things she felt she needed to work on. She had peace about
where she was going and she had a real concern to help others find the peace and joy she had found. We will
never be able to repay her church family for the precious gifts they gave our daughters.

Last summer Jeff and I got to take the girls to Oklahoma, which is where I am from. They met my mom, and
those three instantly bonded. My mom had had surgery, and the girls showered her with hugs and love. I walked
in once to find them sitting on my mom's bed. My mom was telling them stories of me when I was their age,
while one girls was massaging her hands and the other her neck and head. They all looked up at me and smiled
the smile of people who are perfectly content right where they are, just loving each other. That will always be one
of my best memories.

Krista loved getting to see where I grew up and went to school. She named every animal on our farm and spent
hours sitting on the porch swing listening to all the kinds of birds and feeling the way the warm wind blew all the
country scents to her.

Our Kristiana was a complex creature. She was so tender hearted and open to life. She could be still for hours,
just soaking up the beauty and quiet of her world, studying the way tree branches curved and listening to the
river. Then, in the blink of an eye, she would be dancing and making faces and firing off wise cracks that had
everyone rolling. She had an amazing sense of humor. It was never cruel, but it was always right on the money. I
would just shake my head to hear her being not only Sarah's fashion consultant, but also her fashion INsultant.

You need to understand that there was an amazingly special bond between Krista and Sarah. They were 11
months apart in age, and in many ways they were like night and day, though they were both outstanding young
women. Their strengths and weaknesses were opposite. They were yin and yang. But they were best friends and
practically inseparable. They completed one another. And every good thing that is said about Kristiana, it is
automatically assumed that Sarah was right there beside her. We knew how blessed we were to have such
wonderful human beings as part of our family. When the worst thing you can say about your teenagers is that
their rooms look like pig pens, you are blessed indeed.

The strongest thing that they had in common was their concern for other people. Both would instantly put aside
whatever they were doing to help a friend, or to hug someone who just needed a kind word. They both loved
people and both had a gift for seeing what a person needed and being able to give them that. In a world filled with
selfish, self-involved people, these two young ladies were always putting the needs of others first. They always
assumed when they met someone new that there was going to be something there to like. When I came into
their lives when they were 10 and 11 and Jeremy was 13, I was absolutely astounded at how they immediately
accepted me for who I was and made room in their hearts for me. What a precious gift that was.

The girls did not like referring to me as their stepmother, because they felt that had a negative connotation in
most people's minds. Krista suggested Mother we Fortunately Acquired Through Life Circumstances. But since
that was such a mouthful, we settled for Mom Squared. That worked on multiple levels, because Sarah was a
math whiz, and both Krista and I loathed math. I would sign my notes to them with the word "Mom" with the little
"2" exponent. It was our special term for our very special relationship, and I would rather have that title than
Queen of the World.

This past summer and since her junior year started, Krista was the happiest we have ever seen her. She literally
blossomed, and she had a glow about her that came from the inside out. Her beautiful smile was an almost
constant presence. Not that Krista didn't have a temper! But it never lasted. And she was always ready to forgive
those who peeved her, whether they asked for it or not. She left our world at a time when she was at her most
beautiful, inside and out, at a time when she was happy with who she was and absolutely certain of what she
would be transformed into.

We have so many precious memories of our girl. Once when Jeff and the girls went to Raley's, Jeff asked Krista
to go grab a roasted garlic chicken. You know, the ones with the label that says Rotisserie chicken, and under
that either lemon pepper, garlic, or barbecue. Jeff got in the checkout line, waited his turn, and everything was
scanned. Krista still wasn't back. He looked over to see her just standing at the display looking down, and he
waved her over. "Did they not have any garlic chickens?" he asked. She looked at him and said with concern,
"No, Dad, they didn't! All they have are Rotisserie chickens!" Jeff and the clerk cracked up. When Krista would
do things like that and realized she had goofed, she would always cover for herself by declaring with a grin,
"JUST KIDDING!!"

Krisitana had the loudest belch I have ever heard come from a girl. She knew that that was one of my pet
peeves, something young ladies just don't do where I come from. So when she drank a Sprite while sitting at the
kitchen table doing her homework, she would wait until I was at the opposite end of the house and then go for
the world belching record. The thing was, I could still hear it. I could have heard it from down the block! And I
would always yell, "Krista!" in my school-teacher voice, and she would yell back, "Sorry!" But I could hear the
laugh lurking under that apology. I knew she wasn't sorry at all. And she knew that I knew.

I remember times I would be looking up at Krista, delivering words of wisdom about how she needed to get
organized, or how she needed to not wait until the last minute to study for a test, blah, blah, blah. And Krista
would stand quietly and listen until figured she had done her duty, and then she would look down and me and
say something like, "You know, Shorty, your hair isn't parted straight." End of lecture.

Jeff has a passionate hatred for smiley faces, and it has become a tradition in our family to annoy him as much
as possible by occasionally buying him one of the hundred objects you can find with smiley faces. Once for his
birthday the kids and I blew up smiley face balloons and taped them all over the house. He marched from room
to room popping them all while the kids rolled in the floor laughing.

Krista and I went shopping last week, and we had one of the best times we have ever had. Krista spotted a
smiley face CD case and a hideous smiley face nightshirt. She begged me to buy both of them. We waited until
Jeff was asleep and switched all his CD's to the new case and placed it in his car so that when he got in to go to
work it would be staring him in the face. Then she told me to keep the nightshirt until his day off and put it on
while he was asleep so that when we woke up, that would be the first thing he saw. As if seeing me first thing in
the morning with no makeup isn't bad enough! The girl did have a bit of a cruel streak! We got such a kick out of
that, and Jeff reacted just as Krista hoped he would.

Many, many times, she would do her Dr. Evil impersonation and waddle down the hall flapping her arms from the
elbows saying, "Can I have a hug?" And she would wrap her arms around me and bend down and put her head
and my shoulder and say, "Ahhh....you're so comfy. I love you so much." I would not trade that for any amount
of money in the world.

This was not fair. Families are not supposed to bury their children. It is supposed to be the other way around.
This tragedy makes no sense to us. But we don't know what these girls were spared by being taken at the
happiest time of their young lives. We can't see the future. We know all the wonderful things they will miss. But
we don't know what pain or horrors they might also have had to face in the future. I do know that they will never
have to feel the pain that we are feeling now. They will never know sorrow. They will never cry again. They will be
forever beautiful and joyous and laughing and basking in the light of unconditional and total love.

I want to close by telling you the thing I think Krista would most want to tell you now. Many of you heard this
yesterday at the school memorial, but some of you didn't, and she would want everyone to know this. She would
say to you, "Don't worry about me. I am fine. I am home. Grieve for yourselves if you must, that I have gone
ahead of you and we will be apart for a little while. But then go on. Laugh. Enjoy life. Be kind to each other. Be
grateful for the blessings you have and share them with those who have less. Don't look at yourself through the
world's eyes. Don't look in the mirror and see the flaws and think that's how you will be judged and that's how
your worth will be determined.

"Each of you is just as precious and as important as the most famous movie star, the best athlete, the richest
business man, the most powerful world leader. You are the most precious thing in the universe."

Everything in our lives can be replaced except the people. If our family had a choice between all the gold in the
world and one more hour with Kristiana, we would take that hour and consider ourselves the richest people in the
world. It is the same for Stephi's family, and it would be the same for the people who love each of you.

Cherish your life. Find people to love and share the good things in life. Help each other through the bad times.
Live your life so that whether it ends tomorrow or 50 years from now, the people who knew you will feel blessed
to have had you in their lives.

Leave the world a better place than you found it. That doesn't take great deeds. All it takes is living each day
with a loving heart. Your life affects everyone you come in contact with. Even one kind word you say, one smile
or hug you give, could change a person's life forever by showing them that there is good in this world.

None of us knows when this life will end and we move on to the next life. No matter what your spiritual beliefs, it
is a universal law and a scientific fact that energy cannot be destroyed. It can change form, but it lives forever.
These two girls were so full of energy and joy and love, and that is not gone. They did not die with their bodies.

One of the trauma room nurses said that when the team was working on Stephanie in the hospital, there was a
lot of noise and action, and they didn't even realize the radio was on. When they knew Stephan was gone,
everyone got quiet. And immediately the Bob Dylan song "Knocking on Heaven's Door" came on the radio.

When we went out to the crash site, a lady who lived just down the road told Jeff that one of her neighbors had
seen the car come over the hill and heard the crash. She started running toward the site. She had no idea of who
was involved and didn't know the kids. She didn't know that one of the girls had died instantly in the crash.
Although she was hesitant to tell anyone what she had seen, she did. With absolute conviction she said that as
she was running toward the site she saw a brilliant light shoot up into the sky and smelled the overwhelming
scent of roses. I know in the very depths of my soul that that was our Krista, going home.

She was a precious light in our lives, and we are so grateful to have had the privilege of sharing her life. The world
is a better place because she was here for a short time. We are better people because she loved us. The best
way that we can honor her is to pass that love on.

May God bless each of you as you have blessed our families.

--Kimberly Hope Isbell (Mom Squared)